Sugar and spice and everything nice. Yeah, right! Who do you really think you’re kidding? Just cause we are girls, doesn’t mean we don’t do some pretty gnarly things….in private and sometimes in public. See how many of these YOU will admit to ladies or you have witnessed guys.
- Let’s just get this out of the way right now, all girls pick their noses. We all wake up with a dry schnoz and if you think I’m waiting until you get out of the bathroom to go blow my nose like a lady, you must be crazy. And God forbid the car windows are not tinted…I’ll leave it at that.
- We fart…there I said it. We fart. And sometimes they are LOUD. But you will never hear it. It’s like a mystical creature that only comes out in the cover of darkness…or when we are sleeping and can’t control it…sorry . Most of the time we let loose a little puff of glitter. Pixie dust and sunshine exits our rear ends and our panties whisper…or at least that’s what we like to think it’s like.
- We hate, I mean hate, shaving. Shaving our legs, armpits and nether regions of course. If we can get away with it, we will put off shaving as long as possible. If it’s winter and I get to wear pants every day, don’t be surprised if my legs look like a chia pet should you happen to catch a glance.
- We rarely if ever wash our bras. I don’t know why but it seems to be an acceptable practice to take it off and through it right back in the drawer for tomorrow…and the next day…and the next day. You get my drift. Don’t tell me you haven’t re-worn a pair of briefs from time to time.
- Oh and my personal favorite, we pee in the shower. I cannot tell you why but I will hold it UNTIL I get in the shower just to do it.
- Don’t you just love a girl who doesn’t care about getting all dolled up but feels comfortable in sweats and a tee-shirt with her hair swept back in a ponytail? Oh now that girl really has a strong sense of self, right? Super sexy right? Na, she’s’ just too lazy to do her laundry, probably sleeps on the clean laundry days before folding it, and that hair swept back in the ponytail? Putting your greasy hair in a ponytail means your hygiene preparation is complete.
- We don’t always use the toilet covers in public bathrooms. Particularly after a hard leg day at the gym, I simply cannot hold myself up in the stall. Shaky legs means pee down my leg and potentially on the inside of the undies that are too close to the toilet as it is. When you gotta go you gotta go. If there are droplets of pee from the previous shaky leg squatter, I’ll grab a bit of toilet paper and wipe it up. Finally with my ultraviolet germ vision I’ll examine the area and determine if it is now safe to sit on. Na, I just don’t care and nether do most women.
- Back to toilet paper for a second. Sometime her period comes unexpectedly and if she is not prepared, her local toilet stall is. She will go all DIY on that issue (haha) and roll a fist full of the ol’ TP and make a nice little maxi of her own. This is particularly gross for her, so if you happen to find little tiny rolled pieces of toilet paper crumbles leaving a trail on the floor from her pant leg, please be kind and shut your trap.
- Applying makeup every morning is just so tedious that sometimes we think that it would be a hell of a lot easier to simply re-apply what rubbed off overnight. Why not? You don’t know that is it three day old mascara. Since when have you looked at a woman and said to yourself “Jeeze her lashes seem a bit thick today, maybe she should have used an eyelash comby thingy”. That’s what I thought, never.
- Isn’t it weird how the stuff between your toes smells like cheese? Yeah well we’ve experienced that too. Why there is a natural curiosity to rub your fingers between your toes and then smell it is beyond me, but we’ve all done it…admit it!
OK I’m done telling on myself and my fellow females. Maybe this will give you a better appreciation for your lady and see that yes she is perfect although she is human…and perfect.